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First things first,this ain't a self-help guide to crest-fallen lovers or die-hard romantics,both these polarised groups baffle and amaze me.
I never understood love properly(someone is going to kill me for this....!) but perhaps it's not something to be understood ,only to be experienced.Unlike many other emotions,often it's quite late when we realize that we're in love and as is the case we seem to be helpless.
Many may contradict me but perhaps the biggest problem of romance in our age is..."we fall in love with personality but later we have to cope up with the character".
And offcourse we're not very good at coping up,why?
because of our BIG EGO.
Ego and love cannot co-exist,there's no simpler way to put this.
Self-less and unconditional relation helps keep our ego down because it teaches you a very important lesson in life...the universe doesnot rotate around us,every other person is as important as us.
Love is responsibility,when you commit to someone ,you actually commit to yourshelf....you commit to be a companion ,a co-passenger because love is always a journey,never a destination.Just like life there's no point of saturation or satisfaction in a relationship.The day you are satisfied ,it'll be all over,is'nt it?
So the keyword for me is....be yourshelf,dont try to change too much for anyone ,yes we change ourshelves either knowingly or unknowingly for people we want to impress and later inevitably suffer it's consequences because the change is never permanent is us,infact it's not simply "US".
There's a thing called the "desire paradox".Love is like a butterfly in garden of life,the more you chase it...the more it eludes you but the moment you are "yourshelf" and at peace with the garden ,the butterfly comes and sits on your shoulders.
The day we start forcing our will in a relationship,we've actually triggered the beginning of ending it.Love ,just like respect ,cant be commanded...it can only be earned and believe me everyone is worthy of earning it.
Sometimes I suppose the best policy is "confess but never pursue" and perhaps the most important thing of all,never regret in life from your past mistakes ...because our failures teach us more than our achievements,offcourse only if we're willing to learn.
SDJ